Save 54% + Score a Free 1g Pre-Roll with Every $50 Spent! 

 
 
Author Archives:

Donno Ershad

Billy Bob Thornton weed horoscope zodiac smoking poster
Weed Horoscope: August 4 – Presented by Haute Health (and Billy Bob Thornton)

    “Don’t trust the stars. Trust the weed. Also, maybe don’t trust me.” 🥃 [...]

04
Aug
A whimsical cartoon illustration of a relaxed man resembling Matthew McConaughey sitting in a Muskoka chair, holding a steaming mug labeled "Haute Health" under a dreamy night sky with glowing constellations and colorful clouds.
Alright, Alright, Star Signs – Your Baked-eh-scope with McConaughey

    “Alright, Alright, Star Signs – Your Baked-eh-scope with McConaughey” June 23 Horoscope, by [...]

22
Jun
Elderly Canadian woman holding a Tim Hortons bag full of Timbits and a cold coffee, looking confused. Text reads: Grandma ordered online but got Timbits and a cold double-double instead. Cannabis-themed elements and Haute Health branding visible.
Grandma Tried to Order Weed Online. Got Timbits and a Cold Double-Double Instead.

  Look — we don’t fact-check everything that rolls across our desk. We’re not CBC. [...]

03
Jun
A photograph of Leonardo DiCaprio dressed as Jordan Belfort, wearing a sharp blue pinstripe suit, gold tie, and aviator sunglasses. He’s holding a baking tray labeled “Granola Bar-ijuana,” filled with freshly baked granola bars, as if presenting them proudly. Behind him are double ovens and a large Haute Health logo on the wall. The scene blends luxury kitchen aesthetics with subtle Wall Street elements like stock charts and gold accents.
Granola Bar-ijuana: How to Bake Edible Assets Like a Wall Street Wolf

You ever look at a granola bar and think, “This? This could be an empire.”That’s [...]

14
May
A humorous parody poster of Breaking Bad featuring a smiling man in a lab coat, glasses, and a hat decorated with cannabis leaves. He holds a glowing container filled with large cannabis buds, surrounded by stacks of money and colorful lab equipment in a dispensary-style lab.
🔬 Breaking Dab – He broke bad… and dabbed worse.

  🎬 High Concept Thursdays Every Thursday, we pitch the stoniest, dumbest, most Hollywood-worthy weed [...]

24
Apr