Fact or Faked? These Weed “Truths” Will Blow Your Mind (or Your Munchies)
Welcome to another Fact or Faked Tuesday at Haute Health, where we separate the truth from the totally toked-out. Whether you’re a seasoned smoker, a casual consumer, or just here because your cousin sent you the link while giggling uncontrollably, you’re in the right place.
Cannabis has a long, weird, wonderful history—and with legalization spreading faster than your cousin Brad at an all-you-can-eat edibles buffet, it’s never been more fun to dig into the facts… and call out the fakes.
So get ready. Some of these are 100% real, others are pure puffery. Can you tell the difference? Let’s spark up the list:
1️⃣ You can get high from raw cannabis… if you’re a cow 🐄🌿
Sounds udderly ridiculous, right?
But here’s the deal: raw cannabis contains THCa, which isn’t psychoactive until it’s heated—a process called decarboxylation. So for humans, munching on raw weed won’t do much (except make your salad crunchy in a weird way).
But cows? They’ve got a digestive system that’s basically nature’s pressure cooker. With four stomachs and a lot of time to ruminate, they might just extract something useful from raw cannabis. While it’s not exactly Woodstock in the barnyard, early studies show that cannabinoids can pass through their system in surprising ways.
Verdict: FACT ✅
Next time you see a chill cow staring into the void, just nod respectfully.
2️⃣ Weed can turn purple from cold temperatures 💜❄️
No, it’s not dyed by your local teen dealer with a vape and a dream—this one’s legit science.
Cannabis, like many plants, contains anthocyanins, a type of flavonoid pigment. When exposed to cooler temps (especially at night), these compounds get to work, producing rich purples, blues, and even reds. Some strains are bred specifically for their purple hues (think Granddaddy Purp or Purple Haze), but others just need a little nighttime chill to bring out the royal colors.
So no, purple weed doesn’t mean it’s stronger… but it does mean your stash might qualify for a bougie photo shoot.
Verdict: FACT ✅
Cold weather + weed = haute couture cannabis.
3️⃣ Marijuana plants scream when harvested, but only dogs can hear it 🐶😱
Okay, let’s paws for a moment.
While it’s true that many plants can emit stress signals when cut (through things like volatile organic compounds), the idea that weed plants literally scream—and only dogs can hear it—is a stoner bedtime story wrapped in dog whistles and delusion.
There’s no science backing this claim. At most, your weed plant is whispering in chlorophyll, not howling like it stubbed a leafy toe.
Verdict: FAKED ❌
Your dog’s not sad about the plant. He’s just disappointed you didn’t share the snackies.
4️⃣ Weed was sold in pharmacies in the 1800s 🧴📜
Long before vape pens and dispensaries with neon signs and EDM playlists, cannabis was sold as a legit medicinal product.
In the 1800s, you could walk into a pharmacy and buy cannabis extract for anything from headaches to menstrual cramps. It was often mixed with alcohol or other tonics and came in cute little glass bottles with labels that now look like antiques… or influencer merch.
The government didn’t start cracking down on weed until the early 20th century, which means your great-great-grandma might’ve been way more chill than you think.
Verdict: FACT ✅
Victorian vibes, but make it vibey.
Ready to Guess More?
These were just the first few nugs from the joint jar. Want more weird weed wisdom? Stay tuned every Monday (faked, it’s Tuesday’s…) as we roll out more “Fact or Faked” fun. And if you guessed all four correctly—treat yourself to an extra gummy. You earned it.
Next up: Does THC actually lower your IQ… or does it just make you think you’re a genius? 🤔
FAQs
Can plants respond to stress signals biologically?
Yes, plants respond to stress biologically through mechanisms like producing reactive oxygen species, adjusting stomatal openings, and synthesizing protective compounds such as osmolytes. These responses help them cope with drought, salinity, or injury by altering gene expression and metabolism. Studies show plants sense stressors via receptors and trigger signaling cascades involving hormones like ABA.
What science explains ultrasonic plant responses?
Recent research from Tel Aviv University found that stressed tomato and tobacco plants emit ultrasonic sounds, like 30-50 pops per hour at 40-80 kHz, likely due to cavitation where air bubbles form and burst in the xylem from dehydration or cuts. These airborne clicks, recorded in acoustic chambers and greenhouses, can be detected up to 5 meters away and classified by AI to identify stress types. While intriguing, the sounds are not "screams" but physical emissions, possibly aiding ecological interactions like attracting insects or bats.
Are these reactions comparable to pain perception?
No, plant stress responses are not comparable to animal pain perception, as plants lack a nervous system, brain, or nociceptors needed for conscious suffering. Signals like electrical potentials or chemical releases help survival but are automatic, without emotional or subjective experience. Experts emphasize anthropomorphizing these as "pain" misleads, since plants don't process stimuli like animals do.
How do harvest methods impact plant stress?
Harvest methods can induce stress through cutting stems or uprooting, triggering responses like increased ethylene production or cannabinoid shifts, though brief. Gentle techniques, like hand-trimming in darkness before harvest, may minimize shock and potentially boost resin via mild stress. Rough handling risks contamination or quality loss from accelerated degradation.
Does stress affect cannabinoid development?
Stress like drought can alter cannabinoid profiles in cannabis, often decreasing CBD and THC while increasing CBG by up to 40% in early flowering, per studies on hemp. Controlled mild stress, such as from temperature or light, may enhance production in some strains, but severe stress reduces overall yield and quality. Factors like timing and type of stress matter, with abiotic ones showing more impact than biotic.
Why do cannabis myths spread so easily?
Cannabis myths spread due to historical stigma, prohibition-era misinformation, and sensationalized media that amplify unproven claims like plants screaming. Social sharing on platforms and cultural anecdotes outpace scientific debunking. Legalization fuels curiosity, but lack of education allows fakes, like raw weed getting you high, to persist amid evolving facts.
