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🚀 NASA Got a Spider High… and It Forgot How to Spider 🕸️
Yes, this actually happened.
NASA. Big brains. Fancy degrees. Space missions. Satellites.
And… stoned spiders?
Turns out, when you give a spider a little THC, it doesn’t start vibing to Bob Marley or bingeing Scooby-Doo like the rest of us—it just forgets how to be a spider entirely. And it’s hilarious.
🧪 The Experiment: Science Meets Silliness
Let’s spin you a web of truth here: Back in the 1990s, NASA decided to study how various substances affect a spider’s ability to build webs. Why? We have no idea. Maybe one scientist was high and said, “What if we gave the spider weed, man?” And the rest were like, “Put it in the budget!”
So, in the name of scientific curiosity (and probably boredom), NASA gave spiders:
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Caffeine ☕️
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Benzedrine (an amphetamine) ⚡
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Chloral hydrate (a sedative) 😴
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Mescaline (the peyote drug) 🌵
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And of course… THC 🍃
Then they sat back and watched the spiders try to do their thing.
🕸️ The Weed Web: AKA “This Is Too Hard, Bro”
Now, normally spiders are nature’s architects—little creepy geniuses weaving perfect symmetrical webs like they’ve got a degree from MIT.
But when these skittery buddies were high on THC?
Oh no.
Oh nonononono.
They just… stopped trying.
Imagine this:
Spider wakes up.
Spider remembers it was gonna build a web.
Spider forgets what a web is.
Spider eats a Dorito.
Spider naps.
The actual THC webs were barely webs at all.
They looked like something a drunk toddler made out of cooked spaghetti and shame.
The web patterns were messy, random, and full of holes—kind of like your buddy Reed’s resume.
🕷️ Spiders on Other Drugs (for Science, Obviously)
Just for comparison:
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Caffeine spiders were overly ambitious and worked super fast… but made garbage webs.
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Benzedrine spiders were frantic but sloppy—think Red Bull in spider form.
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Sedated spiders didn’t care at all. They just chilled.
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Mescaline spiders made webs that looked like a Pink Floyd laser show at Burning Man.
But THC?
THC hit different.
Those spiders just gave up on the entire concept of geometry.
😂 Why This Is the Best Thing NASA Ever Did (Besides the Moon)
Let’s be honest—this might be the most relatable science experiment of all time.
You’re telling me the smartest people in the galaxy spent money to get spiders high… and then sat around going:
“Look at that one. It forgot the middle.”
“Dude, that one just made a hammock.”
“Wait… is that a dreamcatcher?”
Iconic.
Forget the Mars Rover. Give us a stoner spider sitcom.
🍃 High-deas and Low Hangs
There’s a deeper lesson here, too (besides “don’t get your arachnid blitzed”):
🕷️ Weed doesn’t make you lazy—it just turns you into a philosophical spider who wonders why webs exist at all.
🕷️ Even the tiniest creatures can’t function properly when high as balls.
🕷️ And maybe, just maybe, spiders are more like us than we think:
Sometimes they just want a snack, a nap, and a break from the pressure of being productive.
🧠 SEO Bonus Time: Why You Need to Know About High Spiders
If you’re looking up funny weed facts, NASA weed stories, or just curious if THC affects animals, this one’s a golden nug.
And if you’re stoned right now?
Even better. You’re learning, laughing, and bonding with a spider who once had a panic attack in zero gravity.
So next time you’re too high to finish your project or fold the laundry, just say:
“I’m not lazy—I’m in a NASA-level experiment.”
And hey, if you ever do see a spider spinning a perfect web while listening to reggae, be suspicious. That dude might be holding.
Want more stories like this?
Drop a comment, light up a joint, and let’s web up the weirdest corners of cannabis culture—HH style. 🧡🍁
