Contents [ Hide ]
A sandwich born for the munchies. No THC required — just bad decisions and national pride.
Let’s get this out of the way:
This isn’t technically an edible.
But spiritually? Emotionally? Existentially?
This sandwich is absolutely high.
If you ended up here while hunting for some decent Canadian weed snacks, chances are you’re already a little toasty — or planning to be. Either way, you’re gonna need food. Not just any food — but something disturbingly comforting. Something your stoned brain can recognize as a work of art and your sober self will deeply regret later.
Enter: The Highbernation Sandwich.
It’s what happens when Kraft Dinner, All Dressed chips, and maple syrup make a terrible decision at 2AM… and you eat the consequences.
📋 What You’ll Need (a.k.a. whatever’s left in your kitchen)
-
2 slices of white bread (Wonder Bread preferred, but we’re not fancy)
-
Mayo (enough to scare your roommate)
-
Cold Kraft Dinner (don’t even warm it up — that’s not the vibe)
-
Maple syrup (Grade A or bust — this is still Canada)
-
A handful of crushed All Dressed chips (aka national seasoning treasure)
Bonus points if you assemble this while wearing a toque and yelling “I’m not even that high!” into the void.
🧠 Why This Recipe Exists
Let’s be real — most people looking for edible content in Canada just want something that hits. You don’t need THC for that. You need chaos. Texture. Regret. Something weird enough that it feels illegal.
This sandwich?
It’s a culinary panic attack.
It’s edible in vibe.
And it pairs perfectly with whatever you just ate 25mg of.
🔪 Assembly Instructions
-
Toast the bread… if you feel like being a grown-up.
Otherwise, raw bread is authentic to the experience. -
Apply mayo like you’re spackling drywall.
Generosity is key. Self-respect is optional. -
Pile on the cold KD.
Cold. Not lukewarm. Not “room temp.” Cold. This is important. If it slides off the spoon in one chunk, you’re doing it right. -
Drizzle with maple syrup like you’re apologizing to the ancestors.
It doesn’t need to make sense. Just go with it. -
Top with crushed All Dressed chips.
Not lightly sprinkled. Buried. Think gravel parking lot in Sudbury. -
Top with the second slice of bread and smush it together like your life depends on it.
Take a bite. Immediately question everything and nothing at once.
🛋️ Optional Pairing: THC Gummies + Corner Gas Reruns
You came here looking for something edible. We’re not judging — we get it.
This sandwich may not be infused, but your soul definitely should be. Pop a gummy, fire up Corner Gas, and get ready to feel all your Canadian instincts kick in at once.
📈 So, This Isn’t an Edible… But It’s Close Enough
Let’s be honest. You can scroll through pages of dispensary blogs talking about brownies and gummies, or you can make something weird and wonderful with what’s already in your kitchen.
This sandwich? It was built for the munchies.
It belongs in the same sentence as your favourite infused snacks — if not legally, then emotionally.
🧡 Final Thoughts: Munchies, Mayhem, and Maple Dreams
You might’ve been looking for something with a THC label slapped on it, but what you found is something only a truly high Canadian would understand.
No judgment. Just joy. And maybe some indigestion.
And hey — when you do want something properly infused (like, actually weed), skip the sketchy plug and hit up the real pros.
Haute Health has everything you need, minus the guilt and mystery ingredients.
TL;DR: This is the most Canadian sandwich you can make without legally changing your name to Gord. It’s not a weed edible — but it belongs in the same conversation. And fridge.
Now go make it. Or stare at your fridge some more. Either way, we’re proud of you.
