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šTHE āSHAKEāN BAKEā THC-INFUSED MILKSHAKEš
These milkshakes will have your neighbors peeking over the fence like itās a full-blown STRATA violation.
Why This THC-Infused Milkshake Will Change Your Life
This isnāt just a THC-infused milkshakeāthis is a full-scale experience. A beverage so powerful, itāll have you contemplating lifeās biggest mysteries, like:
- Why do we never see baby pigeons?
- If ābinge-watchingā exists, whereās the term for watching one episode and going to bed like a responsible adult?
- And most importantly: why did I just drink an entire blender of this?
š¼ INGREDIENTS:
š¼ 2 cups ice cream ā Vanilla, chocolate, or whatever your heart desires. (Unless youāre that one psychopath who loves licorice ice creamāseek help.)
š„ 1 cup whole milk ā Or oat milk if you like pretending dairy-free means healthy.
š« 2 tbsp chocolate or strawberry syrup ā This is the difference between āooh, yumā and āholy hell, I just saw God.ā
šØ 1 tbsp infused coconut oil or THC tincture ā The secret ingredient that turns this from āgoodā to āI forgot my own name for three hours.ā
š¦ Whipped cream ā Because even the biggest disasters in life deserve a nice finishing touch.
š A single cherry ā A symbol of hope, much like thinking your spouse āwonāt noticeā you finished all the snacks in one sitting.
š„¤ HOW TO MAKE THC-INFUSED MILKSHAKE (aka: The Ritual of Greatness)
1ļøā£ Slam that ice cream into a blender like it’s the last thing standing between you and total euphoria.
2ļøā£ Pour in your milk (bonus points if you leave exactly one sip in the carton to gaslight your entire household).
3ļøā£ Drizzle in your chocolate or strawberry syrupābecause you deserve some drama in your life that isnāt relationship-based.
4ļøā£ Toss in your infused coconut oil or THC tinctureāthis is where things get interesting. Like when a celebrity starts a podcast for no reason.
5ļøā£ Blend that bad boy up until itās smoother than Pete Davidsonās ability to date anyone, anywhere, at any time.
6ļøā£ Pour it into a tall glass and admire your creation like your ex admires their new, suspiciously successful āself-careā era.
7ļøā£ Top it with whipped cream and a cherryābecause weāre adults, and we do what we want.
8ļøā£ Sip responsibly. At some point, you will feel like a cartoon character floating off the ground. This is normal.
ā ļø WARNING LABEL:
This shake WILL hit different. You…
WILL start questioning why we donāt have a reality show about people trying to open plastic packaging.
MIGHT start giggling uncontrollably at the phrase āmoist nuggets.ā
MAY make deep eye contact with your fridge, wondering if it has secrets.
If you drink too much, you could wake up believing you are, in fact, Batman.
š„ Final Thoughts:
This ain’t just a milkshakeāit’s a life-altering event. Drink wisely, stay hydrated, and for the love of all things holy, donāt let the paranoia convince you your couch is judging you. šµāš«š„¤